More than a Name

To say I’ve been a little stressed lately is a huge understatement. I hate to abuse the written word with negativity, so I will try to keep my less than positive talk to a minimum (no promises). When you are born, your parents aren’t handed a Raising Children 101 owner’s manual. There are thousands of books out there that tell you what to expect, how to sooth, when to feed, not to spank, etc. But no two people are alike and there’s no way to write a book to cover every situation and personality. The same thing applies as we get older. There isn’t an owner’s manual on how to be an adult. There isn’t a road map of how to’s, FAQ’s or troubleshooting. There isn’t anything that tells you how to be “More than a Name”.

To understand why this latest blog received that title, I will have to insert a little background. If you know anything about me and my professional career, you know that I take an extreme amount of pride in my work. If you aren’t quite sure what I do M-F, from 8 am -4:30 pm, Google what does a planner do and you will find a few articles on a day in the life of an urban planner. I chose this profession because it’s one that intrigues me, opens up the creative side of my personality and challenges me to think outside the box. I have spent a considerable amount of time making sure that what I say, do or write is accurate and reflects the most current rules, regulations and case law. I’ve worked hard to be “More than a Name”. So when I feel like my integrity or ability is being questioned, I will fight to maintain what I have worked so hard for. Similar to a mama bear with her cubs and how she will protect them no matter what the ultimate price is.

The downside of this profession is when the economy goes south and development slows to a turtle’s pace, downsizing begins and many planners find themselves unemployed. So in this profession you have to be “More than a Name” or you won’t survive. I figured that out early on in my career and knew that having the professional respect of fellow colleagues, the development community and the public was one important factor in succeeding. This all circles back around to my comment about maintaining what I have worked so hard for.

You might have a pretty smile and can chat it up with the best of them, but that only goes so far. You have to be genuine, follow through and be fair and equitable. This applies to life in general, personal or professional. There isn’t an owner’s manual or road map that tells you how to do these things and to me what should seem like common sense, I suppose is not. Is it really that hard to be genuine, follow through and be fair and equitable? Regardless, I learned another hard lesson this week (one that I’ve learned many times before) and that is, that I cannot control what others do. I can only control what others perceive ME as. And that is why I will always strive to be “More than a Name”.

xoxo

Me

A True Soldier

Ralph Grau was a husband to Theresa for 38 years. Father to Robert, Michael and his wife Dottie, Mary, Cheryl, Vincent and his wife Denise, and Terry and her husband Craig. Grandfather to Shannon, Darcy and her husband Jeremy, James and his wife Jennifer, Mathew, Steven, Raymond, Daniel, Derrick, Casey and Katherine. Great-grandfather to Jonathan, Samuel, Lucas, and Braden. Brother to Edna Mitzer.

He served his country as a marine in the early 40's and was one of 14 survivors left in California that served in Iwo Jima. While in Iwo Jima he was wounded twice and was awarded the Purple Heart. He was proud of being a marine and was always willing to share a war story or two.

Many of you may have known him as the friend that prayed along side you, sat behind you in church or met you for breakfast at Johnny's but we would like to share with you the man you may not have known.

Back in his day, he would sport a neckerchief and take our grandmother square dancing. For several years he spent countless hours raising parakeets. What started out as a few, grew into a patio of many. Like most people he had his own rituals. Every night before bed he would enjoy a bowl of Kellogg's rice krispes. He only like vanilla ice cream, not French vanilla; and if you asked what the difference was you'd better have an hour to listen to his explanation. After church, regardless of a morning or evening mass, he enjoyed going out to eat. His morning breakfast for the grand kids before taking us to school was always cornflakes and orange juice.

The smile on his face will be a lasting memory fin our hearts. He was a confidant, friend and someone who will always be by our side. The love and happiness he gave, will last us all a lifetime.