Finding A Balance

Lately I've had a lot weighing on my mind. As I get older and the reds get older, life has gotten very hectic and it makes my heart hurt that I miss so much of the fun stuff. It's mostly the fun school stuff like field trips, awards ceremonies, the occassional lunch together and volunteering in the classroom. I HATE that I have to get my kids up at 6:15am so that I can drop them off at daycare by 7:15am so that I can drive another 45 minutes to work. I know that parents have been doing this for ages, but that doesn't mean I have to accept it. I long for the days when the reds were younger and I had all the flexibility in the world with my work schedule. I was fortunate enough to work from home a few days a week when they were infants and it was a blessing for this new mom. I was even more fortunate when I was laid off and was able to spend almost 6 months at home with them. During that time I discovered that I'm at my best when I have a good balance between being a mom and being a professional.

Lately, I've lost that balance and can't seem to find my way back. The rising cost of everything makes me question why I even work, but then the whole desire to eat and the need to pay those pesky bills gets in the way. It's very hard to live in this state with one income and still be able to provide for your family. I'm sure it's possible, but for our family, right now, it's not. I only have so much vacation time so I'm not able to take off work for every school function or sports event. With two in elementary school, the demand for my time will only increase and that weighs heavy on my mind. How will I choose and who will I have to disappoint? Why should I have to make those decisions? I'm their mom and my job is make them happy, not break one's heart and go on a field trip with the other. So my next goal is to try and find that balance.....again. But for now, I am thankful of the time I do have with the reds, even if it's not an equal balance.

xoxo

Me