Unsaid, Undone

In our very short time here on earth, we will have left so many things unsaid. We will have left many many things undone. For various reasons we let our fear of the "what if" get in the way of taking the leap of faith or doing something out of our comfort zone. Maybe the fear of how others will react keeps us from saying what needs to be said.

The other morning while driving to work, a song came on the radio that reminded me of a man I love very much that passed away in April. I honestly don't know why it remained me of him, but it triggered many memories. I began to feel very emotional, sentimental and surprisingly a little regretful. I began to wonder if he was trying to tell me something. Had I not said what I needed to him before he died? Had I not given him the respect he deserved? Was he looking down on me and trying to tell me that he was unhappy with something I was or wasn't doing? But then I thought, not a chance. The emotional and sentimental feelings were present because not only was my grandfather a wonderful man, but he helped you make the best memories. The regret, well the only explanation that came to mind then (and now) is that maybe I didn't do enough for my kids to build fonder memories with him that they won't forget. What I do know for a fact is that I didn't leave anything unsaid with him. He knew how much I loved him. Whether it was a goodbye hug at the end of a family gathering or the final kiss I gave him on his cheek and the whisper in his ear telling him how much I loved him; he knew. I do believe that ultimately he was trying to tell me something on my drive into work that morning. I have lots of undone's and a few unsaid's I need to get to. My number one undone is to finish my book that I started writing back in 2008. A book about a very difficult time for me and how I came out on the other side. A healing book for not just me, but hopefully for others. A book that may just be a stepping stone to greater things.

xoxo

Me